Why I’m Not Giving Hand-Knit Gifts this Christmas

There were years – more than one – where almost everyone received a hand-knit Christmas gift from me. Some years that was the intention from the beginning (like the year where I knit each member of the family a bookmark that had to do with something they enjoyed) and other years I planned to do one or two and when that seemed manageable, I added more projects until it was not (like the year I wound up making all the young kids animal-shaped scarves or hats).

There have been some great Christmas projects over the years – scarves and hats (and yes, many things shaped like animals or the recipient’s favorite character), knitted Christmas ornaments, felted coasters, stockings, gloves, mittens, and socks. There have been shawls and baby blankets, a few sweaters, at least one poncho, and a particularly memorable mermaid-tail afghan that I could have bought ready-made for less than the cost of the yarn. Some of the recipients may have had an inkling of the time, effort, and love that went into the making, but most did not, and I’m okay with that.

This has been our family’s way of handling all the holidays this year: We’ve tried to give ourselves grace – to realize that we’re carrying a lot of stress and emotional baggage right now, and that we can choose to do only the things that bring us real joy.

That’s meant letting go of a lot. It meant we didn’t deck the house out for Halloween the way we normally do, but that felt appropriate, considering we couldn’t welcome all of our friends to the big Halloween party we usually throw. It meant my Thanksgiving decorating consisted of a nice tableau on one single surface in our home.

It meant we decorated a bit earlier than usual for Christmas, because we really wanted to experience some of the joy that Christmas always brings us. It meant I made cookies in the first week of December instead of holding off till closer to the holiday – and it means I will make more, because they are almost gone. I’m not judging us. We needed cookies.

I hope whatever you are doing to celebrate the holidays this year, you are able to find the things that bring you comfort and joy, let go of everything else, and hold your loved ones close in your heart, even if you can’t hold them in your arms.